Mine To Keep

I don't know if it is the holidays or just a change in my attitude, but this week I have more fully recognized my blessings. Tonight, as I checked in on the kiddos, my heart swelled and ached at the same time. Touching their little hands. Pushing their hair away from their faces. I realized how much I love them and how very blessed I am to have such wonderful children. Why the Lord allowed me to have them is beyond me, for I know that they deserve better.

It's funny how I could feel the love of my Heavenly Father as I watched them sleeping tonight. Knowing He peeks in on me once in a while, just to make sure I'm okay. That's when my heart swelled with the confirmation that I am a child of God, a daughter of a king. I am loved and trusted so much that Heavenly Father made me a steward over these two precious spirits.

As I looked over my "jewels...my most prized possessions," I took in how big they are getting, and that is when my heart ached. It won't be long before they don't ask me to play games or read them a story. Soon, they'll forget to ask me to tuck them in or kiss them goodnight. They'll no longer think I am cool. They'll stop trying to make me laugh, to make me smile. They'll stop drawing me pictures and cutting out hearts. They won't want to share their popcorn or their dreams or their nightmares. It makes me hurt to think of those days that are coming, so for now I will hold on to my two sleeping babies.

I'll remember Gracie running in and jumping up in bed with me in the mornings. I'll remember her "scary" hair and how she can't eat anything without getting it on her forehead or behind her ear. I'll remember the way Coda's eyes light up brighter than anything I've ever seen when he is happy or excited about something. I'll remember the little "huh" he says through a smile when he gets too excited and then seems a little embarrassed. And the way he waves to me from the corner while I wait to pick him up from school. How he insist on tucking in his shirt and we have to beg him not to. How he doesn't forget a single promise or how he tries to negotiate and "make deals." I'll remember how I love to watch from behind as he fusses over his Legos. I'll remember how patiently Gracie sits while I do her hair every morning. How she loves horses and unicorns. How she randomly dances or pokes her hand in the air to the music. How she knows every word to "Someone Like You". How she makes that serious face with one cheek and eye squinted together. Yes, they will be little forever, as long as I can hold on to the little precious moments I have with them.

Goodnight my baby girl and handsome man. You are mine to keep.